Northwood Church

"How did two so different people get together?...the atheist and the would-be nun. "

Cyndi
This December Paul and I will have been married 37 years. But in 1980 the divorce papers were on the table.

Paul
I was raised in a family that did not go to church on a consistent basis. My mother periodically tried to take me, but ……by the time I was a freshman in college, I didn’t know if God existed or not and if He did, I didn’t really care. I was the master of my soul and the captain of my fate.

Cyndi
I was raised Catholic, and wanted nothing more than to grow up and be a nun like the sisters who had so faithfully taught me in school. I applied to the convent as a senior in high school. I was asked to wait a year. However, once I hit the doors of a secular university that next fall, it didn’t take much time for me to turn my back and walk away from all of my religious training.

The year was 1967…Paul and I were both freshman in college…and that was the year we met and became friends. Three years later we started dating seriously and were married in December 1970.

Paul
Looking back, it’s curious: how did two people with such different world views get together?...the atheist and the would-be nun. Blame it on the turbulence and tolerance of the 60’s. It didn’t seem to matter that what should have been the entire basis of our relationship – our spiritual beliefs – were totally mismatched. We did pre-marital counseling with the priest who had been Cyndi’s youth director. He advised us not to get married. We didn’t listen. Truly, it didn’t seem to matter.

Until…ten years into our marriage. One day out of the blue Cyndi announced that she didn’t love me anymore – I wasn’t meeting her needs – and she wanted a divorce. My family life as a child had left me locked up emotionally…I did find it difficult to express my love for her. It’s true I worked all the time…but wasn’t that my role? What else was I suppose to be doing? We had two great little kids, didn’t that matter? Her declaration was to begin 5 years of hell in our relationship. My world fell apart.

But because my world fell apart, I was forced to look at EVERY aspect of my life. Physically, I started running. Emotionally, I was forced to face and deal with feelings that I had no names for but were ripping my guts out. Spiritually, I knew I needed to put my uncertainty about the existence of God behind me. I set out to prove God didn’t exist, and ended up encountering the Jesus who became the Savior of my soul and the Lord of my life.

I used my love for reading to help me. I realized I had never read the Bible. So, starting on page one, I started reading the Bible for myself.
I discovered Christian book stores. A business associate came along side me, answered my many questions, didn’t become impatient with my skepticism and witnessed to me just because he was a respected business man AND a Christian. I started to realize that I had gathered so much evidence that had I been making a business decision, I would have accepted the legitimacy of God’s existence and His claim on my life long before I did. It was a matter of my will and not the quality of the evidence.

One day in the spring of 1982, it was my Saturday with the kids. We were at the park. Bret was 5 and Amy was 3. I was feeling pretty low. Amy was swinging on the swings and Bret was poking around in the bushes at the edge of woods in the park. All of a sudden, Bret came running. “Daddy, Daddy, I found a new path in the woods. Can we go?” And as I heard Amy yelling “Me too, Daddy. Me too, Daddy.” I found myself thinking…”Lord, I’m a lucky man.” Those first words to God – that first prayer – caught me by surprise. “Hey! I don’t think like this!” Ironic, isn’t it?…out of the mouth of babes…a “new path” in the woods. 2nd Corinthians 5:17 says, “…if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

Cyndi
How is it possible to express in a few words the emotional turbulence that will push a person to the brink of dismantling a life? I simply had had it…living with an emotionally distant work-a-holic husband had finally made me believe that I would be better off on my own.

While Paul was trying to examine his life and resolve his own issues, I put my babies in daycare, and got a job. I went to work for Planned Parenthood of Mid-Iowa. Incredible. The good little Catholic girl who had wanted to become a nun was now working for an organization whose premises and practices were the complete antithesis of everything she had ever been taught or professed to believe. God used feminism and the abortion debate powerfully in my life. It is a story for another time.

I bring it up now simply to illustrate how far I had drifted. I had abandoned my heritage in my search for love and fulfillment.

When Paul first started reading his Bible and going to church I thought he was a hypocrite. When he started taking the kids, I got angry.

I got angry because I was embarrassed, fearful and jealous. I was jealous of his new-found spiritual peace; I was fearful that a judge would see me as an unfit mother and I would lose my children in a custody battle; I was embarrassed by my lifestyle and knew in my heart that I was not living an honorable life. That anger made me very difficult to live with…

Paul was unashamedly living his faith and relationship with Jesus right in front of me. He studied his Bible; he prayed; he started applying Biblical principles to his parenting; he got the kids involved and he himself volunteered in children’s programs at church; he walked in anti-abortion protest marches.

He asked me to start attending church with him and the kids – a Bible-believing church much like Northwood.

Paul encouraged me to take a class offered by the church. In that class I heard the first promise of God that I ever truly believed. Jeremiah 29:11: “I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future…You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.” Anger flooded away and peace started taking its place.

As I continued to study the Bible, I came to understand the incredible gift of peace and reconciliation that God offered through faith in Jesus. Romans 10:9 says: That if we confess with our mouths “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in our hearts that God raised Him from the dead, we will be saved. On March 20, 1985 – 5 years after I started dismantling our lives – I accepted God’s gift of salvation. Jesus had taken my punishment – my death…my separation from God. I decided that I didn’t want to be separated from Paul anymore than I wanted to be separated from God and I embarked on the new path with Paul.

Paul
God performed a miracle in our lives. I thank God that He not only reached down to reconcile us to Himself, but also caused a reconciliation in our marriage. I thank God I was advised that I should get every Christian I knew to pray for Cyndi and the kids.

I thank God that I read the difficult Bible passage in 1st Corinthians 7 that states that if a Christian is married to a non-Christian, the Christian is not to leave or divorce the non-Christian. So…according to God’s word, I was not to leave Cyndi. If she wanted to leave and divorce me, then I could let her go, but I wasn’t to leave her. Believe me…that wasn’t easy. But God doesn’t tell us to do something in His word that He doesn’t give the grace and strength to fulfill. I often wanted to leave, but God helped me be obedient.

I thank God for Christian books where I found out what it meant to live a Christian life and what it meant to be a Christian husband and father. I tried to be the man Cyndi deserved and the father that my children had a right to have.

Cyndi
In the church we attended, people accepted us, loved us, prayed for us and encouraged us. It was hard for us to ask for help, but we did and God’s people showed themselves faithful. We were encouraged to get involved in the community of believers. Ministry opportunities started to present themselves, and we started serving. And we were encouraged to pray; read and study the Bible; memorize God’s word; and live to bring glory to God.

Paul
In that community of believers, we learned that as I, Paul, focused on my obedience to God in all of my roles as a man and as Cyndi did the same as a woman, we drew closer to God. And as we drew closer to God, we drew closer to each other in the process.

It hasn’t always been easy since we reconciled, but it has been my observation, that when God wants to grow a person deeper in Him and mold him more to the image of Jesus, He often uses difficulties in three main areas: Relationships, finances, or health

Cyndi
Currently, God has us in another time of trial – this time our finances. But God’s faithfulness to us in the past makes us unshakeable in our commitment to Him and to each other.

We’re humbled and thankful for our relationship with God and with each other. We try to never take these relationships for granted.

We’ve been walking the “new path” with God and each other for 22 years now. And hope to have many more together to love and serve.

"Being faithful to God is hard work."

Being faithful to God is hard work. Luckily, God was and still is patient with me. When I was young I had plenty of positive influences to help me along the right path, however, I realize now that it was always easier to veer away from the path God wanted for me.
I grew up in Ogallala, Nebraska and I was very involved in the Church of Christ. I still remember getting excited to ride the bus to church Wednesday nights, getting my first Bible, leading prayers before church school, going to vacation Bible school in the Black Hills and most importantly how I was being taught to lead my life following God. I was very excited about going to church and reading the Bible. I was still too young to fully understand what it meant to commit my life to him.
In fifth grade, my family moved back to Minnesota to be closer to our extended family, and we lived in Princeton until I left for college. We found a Church of Christ in St. Cloud, MN, but unfortunately I never felt like I fit in there. After all, it was hard for this church to meet the high standards that the Ogallala church had set for me. Slowly, I became a casual Christian and everything else became a higher priority in life. Just like many of my diets in the past there was always an excuse to why I could fail. There were many times as a teenager when I took the long way home from my weekend paper route just so I could miss my window to get ready for church. I can remember convincing myself that I could follow some sections of the Bible and if I was generally a good guy I would be ok.
Throughout high school and college I continued to flounder, waiting for God to convince me why I needed him. I lived a “bend but not break lifestyle”. Live the life I wanted and conveniently call on God when I was in a bind and needed his help. I did whatever I could to follow the crowd and was partying, drinking, and out of control. More importantly, I felt a bottomed out emptiness inside. At one point, I found myself driving home from college in Bemidji during the middle of the night after drinking earlier that day. I shouldn’t have been driving and I had fallen asleep and crashed my car. I was fortunate enough to walk away alive and most importantly not harming anyone else. I felt so ashamed and lost but yet at the same time so grateful for my family as they came to help me at this low point. It was apparent that I was missing something in my life and my emptiness helped fuel all of the excuses, unhappiness, and decisions that I made
As I grew older, I realized that I needed to make a change and start taking control of my life and my future. No more excuses! Little did I know but God was helping me along this whole time. There wasn’t one specific moment that forced me to change directions, but that is generally how I work. I usually need to figure out things for myself and rushing me just pushes me further away. Maybe that is why it took so long for me to get on the right path? I became more responsible and attempted to leave my mistakes behind me, however, I was still having trouble committing my life entirely to Christ. I didn’t know how to really turn to God and ask for forgiveness for my sins and give him control of my life completely, but I was beginning to make progress with my struggles and even learning to forgive myself.
It was then that I met some amazing people to help make things even clearer. In Heidi and Kaci I found two great people that had a huge impact on my life. I was lucky to have them and through Heidi I was introduced to Northwood Church. This was another turning point. It felt great being involved in church again and I began to realize that my faith in God was still there and it began to grow stronger and stronger. Heidi and I were married a little over a year ago and we have two amazing children Kaci and Luke. As my personal life became stronger, so did my spiritual life. I faced a reality that the way I lived my life was not only important to building my own relationship with God, but to teach my children the same. My feelings about God and believing in the bible have been strengthened and I believe in Jesus and know I have been forgiven. Romans 8:39 says, “Nothing can separate us from God’s Love”, and after all of my trials, he is still there and I have found him again. Even though it’s been a struggle to be faithful to God, I know He will always be faithful to me. I am thankful for my family and my new found relationship with Christ. I know there’s still hard work to do, but I look to the Bible, try to practice what is preached, and learn from other Christians around me, so I can be the kind of person God wants me to be.

"Have you ever prayed and felt that God was not answering your prayers?"

Do you believe in the power of prayer? Have you ever prayed for something or someone and felt that God was not answering your prayers? I never knew that God was always listening to me and was able to provide me the strength I needed to find happiness that I long desired in life………….until recently.

For most of my life I never prayed or had any desire to pray. I didn’t know what it was like to have a personal relationship with Jesus. As a young girl I attended a church with my mom and sister that left me very scared. The only thing I remember about that church were the sermons on the Mark of the Beast, the End of times and speaking in tongues. It was all terrifying to me and I never wanted to discuss anything about God much less think about Him or go to church. As a young teen I only cared about when the next party was going to be and that lifestyle continued until 6 years ago. Until recently, I never had the desire to find a church of my own or to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

I was living in NYC and met my husband Pete on a blind date. I completely knew that we were meant to be together. Things changed when I met him. I was changing my ways, but still did not know God on a personal level. We got married 18 months after we met. It was the best day of my life, but God was missing from it. We moved from New York City to Minnesota just a few months after we got married. One month after settling down in Minnesota, I found out I was pregnant. Pete and I were thrilled as we had been trying for a year with no success. I was 13 weeks pregnant we went for our ultrasound and to our horror the doctor told us there was no heartbeat. I had suffered a miscarriage. We were devastated. I was a complete wreck for months and just envisioned more miscarriages to come. Looking back I understand now that God used that difficult time to reach out to me and reveal His love.

Pete and I talked about finding a church, one that we would both agree on. He grew up a devout Catholic and I had no religious background, so this became a very hard task! After the miscarriage I was slowly opening doors to allow God into my life. My mom and sister and some other family members had been praying that we would find a church and begin our faith journey with Jesus. He answered their prayers! We started going to Wooddale, which eventually led us here. I began praying too. I began to pray that Pete and I would be able to conceive. On June 3rd, 2005 I took a home pregnancy test…it was positive. I couldn’t believe it, so I took 3 more just to be sure! Pete and I were so excited. I was nervous but I knew this time it would be different…I was getting to know Jesus, I started to believe in the power of prayer.

On June 5, 2005 while at a Wooddale communion service the pastor asked anyone who was ready to ask Jesus Christ into their lives to become their personal savior. At that moment I knew that’s what I wanted and needed. I asked for forgiveness of my sins and asked Jesus into my life. It was the most amazing day, one that I will certainly never forget. I continually prayed for the baby’s health and for my relationship with Pete. God answered my prayers….9 months later baby Matthew was born. 15 very short months later, God blessed us again with Mia. My marriage is the best it’s ever been and continues to grow everyday as we are truly proud parents of our children. We look forward to sharing our relationship with Jesus with Matthew and Mia Pete is a wonderful husband and Dad. Matthew and Mia are truly blessings from God. WOW! God is amazing! I don’t feel I’m deserving of all these wonderful blessings that God has poured on my life, but I know that I am a child of God and that He loves me no matter what. I find great comfort in that. As I continue to grow closer to God, my fears have been replaced with peace and my doubts replaced with trust.

There’s a prayer that I have grown fond of that reaffirms my belief in the power of prayer. John 16:24 “Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete”. I have learned that it doesn’t matter who is praying, the passion behind the prayer, or the purpose of the prayer, God answers prayers that are in agreement with His will. Our prayer will not always be answered with a yes, but I believe he always answers in our best interest. When we pray passionately and purposefully, according to God's will, God responds powerfully!

"This world is too wonderful and complex. It must be created, but by whom?"

This world is too wonderful and complex. It must be created, but by whom, how and why? I used to ponder this question and searched for an answer ever since I was a teenager. I grew up in Vietnam and in a typical Vietnamese family where 80% of the people worship their ancestors and observe some Buddhism practices. In school and through college, I have been taught nothing else but evolution. I still was not satisfied with the evolution theory. Deep down, I always believed there must be a Creator. In college, I attended a few Bible studies, but I was confused and too busy to care.

When I graduated from college, I had a good job, bought a new house and a new car. I seemed to have everything and should have been very happy. But I was miserable. I felt so empty and could not find the meaning and purpose for living. I looked for an answer in Buddhism, but all I found was life is suffering and one should practice self constraint and discipline so that the next life is better. I learned to be content and accept the nothingness of life. After working for 2 years, I changed to a new department. I kept running into this guy named Dave at the copy machine. He invited me to the Bible study every Wednesday at work. After several excuses not to come, I gave in and attended the Bible study. I was being a seeker and a skeptic. The Bible was still not easy to understand. But for some reason, I kept going. After about a year, we finally studied Genesis and the group leader brought in scientific evidences against evolution. I was so happy to learn that there is a God, the Creator, but I didn’t know who He is. I had many more questions such as if God is a loving God, why is there so much suffering? How do I know that Christianity is the one and only true religion? During this time, I was also getting ready for my wedding. I should have been very happy, but I wasn’t. My mom was dependent on me for financial and emotional support after my parent’s divorce. I felt torn between pleasing my mother and living my own life. At times I did not want to live anymore. I didn’t know what to do. One day I was driving home from work feeling so sad and empty. I just prayed to God for help and comfort. At that moment, I felt an overwhelming love from God. I could feel his presence around me. For the first time in my life, I felt a love that was unconditional, most fulfilling, complete and perfect. I knew God personally then and that He cares about me. How wonderful! I was going to be all right.

After I got married, I continued to attend the Bible study at work. I talked to my husband about the Bible and God. He showed no interest since he also grew up in Vietnam and in a non-Christian home. This was hard for me and caused some doubts about my faith. I wondered if Christianity was a crutch for the weak. I went through some more difficult times with my parents until I had my first baby 3 years later. During all this suffering time, I got to know Jesus. I often thought I was insignificant and it still hurts so much when I was wrongly accused by the people I love and care about. But Jesus was the perfect, almighty God and He had to greatly suffer the accusation, the betrayal, the physical pain caused by His children.

As I became a parent, I understood how God loves us as a Father loves his children. My faith grew stronger as I saw the miracles that happened in my life. When I prayed for God to open my husband’s heart, the very next day, he found a Christian tract in a new roll of toilet paper at work. Along with the births of my sons, the greatest miracles were my husband, my mother and my brother’s belief in God. We all found God in our own unique path and experience. My brother found God in his sub-atomic physics study. My mother found God through her friend and my husband will have to tell you his story. It took me awhile, but I was finally baptized along with my husband and brother in July 2001. The following July 2002, my mother was also baptized. There’s a saying that it’s easier to move the mountain than to change a man’s heart. I totally agree and our change in heart was God’s miracle.

Today, life to me is a gift. It is a blessing. I’ve found the purpose. The emptiness and loneliness have been replaced with peace and joy. There is still suffering, but it is so true as written in Romans 5 that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance builds character, and character leads to hope. Creation has led me to God, the Father and suffering brought me to Jesus, the Son.